Family In Chinese Culture - Hierarchy, Harmony, Communication

The Role of the Family in Chinese Culture

Scene from the Song Dynasty Illustrations
of the Classic of Filial Piety (detail),
depicting a son kneeling before his parents.
(source)

It is fundamental for Western people to understand the importance that family has in Chinese society. The family was for centuries the pillar of the Chinese state, and we can still observe its centrality in shaping the economic, social and  moral horizon of the Chinese people. However, we should be very careful not to interpret or judge Chinese society assuming that language can be a guidance. Instead, language is more likely to confuse us.

Communication is a process that requires a positioning of the parties involved, both toward each other and toward the cultural narratives that implicitly and unconsciously influence their thinking (see Yin / Hall 2002, p. 199). Only to mention one example: the word 'marriage' can be understood by different speakers in different ways, depending on their own cultural background and personal opinions, which are often not openly explained in conversation. The simple word 'marriage' does not reveal what the speakers associate with the idea of marriage. 

A Westerner, for instance, may think of marriage in terms of a relationship between two individuals; a Chinese, on the contrary, may see it as a matter between two families. In this case, if a Westerner and a Chinese talk about marriage, the notions that are hidden behind the simple words marriage will not come to the surface unless the participants decide to discuss it openly.

In order to understand the impact of the family in Chinese thinking, we must first of all comprehend that in old China, the family was the nucleus of the society. Traditional Chinese society is best understood by referring to the triad ruler-father-husband. This triad represented the formal order of Chinese society. Its opposite was luan, chaos or disorder. For society to function properly, the three relationships (husband-wife, father-son, ruler-subject) had to be strictly hierarchic. These relationships were unequal, that is, the superior demanded obedience from the inferior, while the superior was supposed to exercise his power benignly. (see Swartz 2002, pp. 120-124).

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Filial Piety in Chinese Culture and the Myth of Collectivism (Part II) - Concubinage, Mistresses, Wives

As I explained in my previous post, we should be very careful when we discuss the topic of harmony in Chinese and other East Asian cultures. Harmony is often mistaken for altruism or a moral respect for others. In reality, as I hope to have shown in the last article, this assumption is highly questionable. What the defenders of Asian values call harmony is, in fact, something else: it is hierarchy and stability.

Traditionally, throughout Chinese history the family was the nucleus of the society, a self-regulating social unit that guaranteed the stability and order the Chinese so greatly valued. It is thus not surprising that advocates of Asian values see in the family one of the major strengths of their culture and society; however, they selectively choose those aspects of the institution of marriage that appear to them ideologically acceptable in order to both maintain certain power structures and find a compromise between their own cultural tradition and Western-shaped modernity.

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Filial Piety in Chinese Culture and the Myth of Collectivism (Part I)

It has often been argued that "Asians tend to value the community and Westerners value the individual"; that "Asians appreciate order and harmony, Westerners appreciate personal freedom" (note). One of the most influential advocates of this culturalist view on society is former Prime Minister of Singapore Lee Kuan Yew. For those who don't know him, Lee Kuan Yew is considered a giant in Asian and world politics. He led the city-state of Singapore, an ex British colony, from "third to first world", with a per capita income now surpassing that of its former colonial master.

Mr Lee and all those who support the idea that the West is individualistic while Asia is collectivist, argue that Asian cultures, shaped by a thousand-year-long Confucian tradition, value the group over the individual, stress duties over rights, emphasize harmony and compromise rather than confrontation and self-assertion. Therefore, individuals don't behave like isolated beings, but harmonize their interests with those of the communities in which they are embedded, be it family, clan or nation (Brems 2011, pp. 41-42).

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